Working With Our Inner Parts

Understanding the Internal Family Systems (IFS) Approach to Healing

Have you ever felt like there are different parts of you that sometimes seem to be in conflict? Maybe part of you wants to move forward, but another part feels stuck in fear or self-doubt. Perhaps one part of you is critical, while another part feels deeply wounded. This experience is completely normal, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a powerful way to understand and heal these inner dynamics.

What is IFS?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a gentle, evidence-based approach to therapy that helps you connect with and heal the different parts of yourself. Rather than seeing your thoughts, emotions, or behaviours as problems, IFS recognises them as parts of a larger internal system—each with its own role, needs, and purpose. These parts can also be understood as trances, ego-states, or sub-personalities—distinct aspects of the self that have developed in response to life experiences. The goal of IFS is to bring balance, understanding, and compassion to these inner parts so you can feel more whole and at peace.

The Different Parts Within You

In IFS, we often talk about three main types of parts:

  • Exiles – These are the wounded parts of us that carry painful memories, fear, shame, or sadness. They are often hidden away because they feel too overwhelming.

  • Managers – These parts try to keep things under control, often by being critical, perfectionistic, or highly responsible. Their goal is to prevent pain from resurfacing.

  • Firefighters – These parts act impulsively when distress arises, sometimes in ways that feel out of control (like numbing, avoidance, or anger). They try to protect us from overwhelming emotions.

At the core of IFS is what’s known as the Self—the calm, compassionate, and wise centre within you that can bring healing to all of your parts. Through IFS therapy, we work to help you access this Self and build a trusting, healing relationship with your inner world.

How IFS Helps with Trauma and Emotional Healing

When we experience trauma or emotional wounds, certain parts of us take on extreme roles to try to keep us safe. While these parts have good intentions, they can sometimes cause inner conflict, emotional distress, or patterns that no longer serve us. Because these parts can function like trances or deeply ingrained ego-states, they may feel as though they completely take over in certain situations. IFS helps bring awareness to these states, allowing you to step out of reactive patterns and engage with them in a healing way.

IFS provides a path to healing by helping you:

  • Understand the protective roles your parts play

  • Gently heal the wounds of your exiled parts

  • Develop more self-compassion and inner harmony

  • Feel more empowered, calm, and in control of your life

A Compassionate Path to Healing

IFS is a non-judgemental and deeply compassionate approach that believes there are no “bad” parts—only parts that need to be heard, understood, and cared for. Whether you consider them to be sub-personalities, ego-states, or simply different aspects of yourself, these parts can learn to trust in the presence of your Self, creating greater inner harmony. With the guidance of an IFS therapist, you can learn to relate to yourself in a new way, fostering deep healing and transformation.

If you’re ready to explore your own system of parts and embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing, book your online consultation.